The importance of play to process children's grief
“Because young children can't always vocalize their feelings, their thoughts and fears often will come out at unexpected times, like in...
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Distant Light Death Doula Services
A life well-lived and a death well-planned.
Janet Clattenburg
Death Doula
janetgoncalves
- May 21
- 2 min
The importance of play to process grief in adults
In Ontario, I had a long career as a teacher before moving to Nova Scotia and becoming a death doula. One Spring Day, when my daughter...
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janetgoncalves
- May 13
- 2 min
There is no right way to acknowledge an angelversary or other special occasion, only your way
“Is there a right way to acknowledge the anniversary of my loved one’s death/birthday or other special occasion like Mother’s...
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janetgoncalves
- May 7
- 4 min
Unique thanotourism gravesite rituals for famous people
If you have ever visited a cemetery, you might notice that items are often left on display by headstones. I’ve seen flowers, wreaths,...
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janetgoncalves
- Apr 30
- 3 min
Saved by the Bell
Taphophobia is an irrational fear of the grave, or fear of being put in the grave while still alive. The word taphophobia comes from the...
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janetgoncalves
- Apr 23
- 2 min
Cemetery/funeral superstitions
I grew up in Nova Scotia, hearing and being taught implicitly or indirectly about superstitions about the dead. These superstitions...
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janetgoncalves
- Apr 16
- 2 min
Superstitions and death omens related to cats
I work part time at a grocery store, in several departments. While ringing in a customer’s groceries I noticed that they were purchasing...
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janetgoncalves
- Apr 9
- 2 min
Superstitions around a death at home
April 7, 2018 was the death date of my father-in -law. As a death doula and previously having witnessed many deaths in my own/extended...
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janetgoncalves
- Apr 2
- 3 min
Live Like You Were Dyin' (With No Regrets)
I was watching Men in Black 3, a 2012 film, on Netflix one morning, and a quote jumped out of me. Agent K, played by Tommy Lee Jones is...
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janetgoncalves
- Mar 26
- 2 min
When “In lieu of flowers” is disregarded
You wrote “In lieu of flowers” as part of the obituary, but well-intentioned mourners still sent floral tributes to the funeral home or...
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janetgoncalves
- Mar 19
- 3 min
Spring Equinox and grief
March 20, 2023, here in Nova Scotia officially marks the arrival of the Spring season with the Spring Equinox. An equinox is a time when...
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janetgoncalves
- Mar 12
- 3 min
Flowers and death
The concept of flowers placed with and around the deceased is a form of mourning that has some long roots. As a death doula, I am always...
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janetgoncalves
- Mar 5
- 3 min
The problems of platitudes
I recently found myself with some unexpected time on my hands due to a cancelled work shift and decided to rewatch the movie Collateral...
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janetgoncalves
- Feb 26
- 1 min
The role of epitaphs as a summary of our lives
Epitaphs provide those who have passed with a poetic or memorable inscription for those who visit the deceased to remember them by. For...
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janetgoncalves
- Feb 19
- 3 min
SHOE TREES
When driving, one naturally takes in the scenery. Occasionally, I must stop and pull over because of something I see. My friends all know...
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janetgoncalves
- Feb 12
- 2 min
The serious business of mourning during the Victorian era is not so different than modern times
In the Victorian era, it was Queen Victoria’s choice to wear black after the loss of her husband in 1861. She was so heartbroken after...
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janetgoncalves
- Feb 5
- 3 min
The Colours of Mourning
Here in Nova Scotia, if we are attending a funeral, the mourners tend to wear black or dark colours. But does this tradition hold true...
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janetgoncalves
- Jan 29
- 3 min
The “Second Talk” is so important to create your Personal Directive
At some point when you had children reaching the puberty age, you had “the talk”. It was perhaps uncomfortable, but it was the right...
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janetgoncalves
- Jan 23
- 3 min
Grief lives in the body
On Netflix’s The Crown, Episode 2, Season 5, “The System”, there is a scene that caught my eye as a death doula. The actor portraying...
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janetgoncalves
- Jan 16
- 3 min
Unique products made from cremated ashes of loved ones (pets and humans)
When I taught Grade 5 Science in Ontario, one of the units focused on the 3 R’s and the impact of waste items on the environment. The...
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