Why it is so important to experience the pain of grief.
Grieving is hard work. It takes a lot of physical and mental energy. I bet no one has ever told you that before, but I will. Author,...
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Distant Light Death Doula Services
A life well-lived and a death well-planned.
Janet Clattenburg
Death Doula
janetgoncalves
- Sep 17
- 3 min
Sitting with Your Grief
As I am writing this blog, Hurricane Lee is swirling around in the area that I live. The wind is blowing the leaves and branches off my...
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janetgoncalves
- Sep 9
- 4 min
Learning to say goodbye when a parent dies.
Grief is the internal experience of a loss. Mourning is the outward expression. Together they equal bereavement. Bereavement comes from...
4 views0 comments
janetgoncalves
- Sep 3
- 3 min
Grieving is hard work especially when we are trying to live without the person who died
Grieving is hard work. It takes a lot of physical and mental energy. I bet no one has ever told you that before, but I will. Author,...
3 views0 comments
janetgoncalves
- Aug 27
- 3 min
"Monkey see, monkey do" does not apply when dealing with your own grief around children.
“Monkey see, monkey do” is a well know catchphrase. When hiding your feelings of grief around children, it is not the catchphrase to be...
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janetgoncalves
- Aug 20
- 2 min
I want to do something death-related as a career but what are my options?
Some universities offer courses on Death. I’ve been fortunate to be a guest speaker at a local university in Halifax, Nova Scotia, for...
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janetgoncalves
- Aug 13
- 3 min
Hiding Emotions
At work, I bought a mood ring the other day on a whim, as I was feeling nostalgic having had one when I was a little girl. It came with a...
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janetgoncalves
- Aug 6
- 1 min
Conversations with mourners- things to avoid.
We all want to be there for someone when they are in their darkest hour, but it is important not to make things worse. These are the...
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janetgoncalves
- Jul 30
- 2 min
Conversations with mourners- how to help
When we first hear that someone has suffered a loss, we often try to reach out to them, in person, via text, phone call or email. We...
2 views0 comments
janetgoncalves
- Jul 23
- 2 min
Grief is patient, but can't be avoided
The Meriam webster dictionary defines the term “avoidance” as a: an action of emptying, vacating, or clearing away, b: outlet, c: an act...
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janetgoncalves
- Jul 16
- 3 min
Busting the myth about "you have to be strong" after a death
The idea of “being strong” after a death is so distorted to the point that it now implies that you should not have or demonstrate...
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janetgoncalves
- Jul 9
- 4 min
"Ashes to ashes dust to dust" death ritual
If you have ever attended a burial in the United States, Canada, or Europe, you may have seen a specific death ritual in action- throwing...
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janetgoncalves
- Jul 2
- 2 min
Anticipatory Grief is real
Most people think that grief only occurs after the loss of someone, but that isn’t true. Grief can also occur before a loss, and it is...
8 views0 comments
janetgoncalves
- Jun 25
- 3 min
Summer solstice
June 21, 2023, is the date of the summer solstice here in Nova Scotia and officially marks the start of the new season. It is the longest...
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janetgoncalves
- Jun 22
- 4 min
If you want peace- go to a graveyard, locally or abroad.
I’ve posted blogs mentioning my love of visiting graveyards locally and when travelling. I’m proud to be a taphophile. We are often...
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janetgoncalves
- Jun 11
- 2 min
Grief and Anxiety
Grief and anxiety can be considered as two sides of one coin. There is a strong relationship between these two. Anxiety is known to be a...
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janetgoncalves
- Jun 4
- 3 min
Grief is rampant
Currently in Nova Scotia, we have several counties that are dealing with forest fires. While there is much mutual aid from other...
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janetgoncalves
- May 28
- 2 min
The importance of play to process children's grief
“Because young children can't always vocalize their feelings, their thoughts and fears often will come out at unexpected times, like in...
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janetgoncalves
- May 21
- 2 min
The importance of play to process grief in adults
In Ontario, I had a long career as a teacher before moving to Nova Scotia and becoming a death doula. One Spring Day, when my daughter...
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janetgoncalves
- May 13
- 2 min
There is no right way to acknowledge an angelversary or other special occasion, only your way
“Is there a right way to acknowledge the anniversary of my loved one’s death/birthday or other special occasion like Mother’s...
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